


don't freak out

by CandaceMarie



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Oblivious Merlin, Pining Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4900750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandaceMarie/pseuds/CandaceMarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's the thing about sexual tension that can be cut with a knife, if you have a knife you can just cut through it, right? Since Arthur doesn't allow Merlin around sharp objects, Arthur is taking it upon himself to figure this out for the both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. BEGINNING

“Are we really having this argument again?” I asked Arthur as we walked into his room. I went over to lean against his wardrobe while he pulled off his dirty shirt and threw it on the floor. I glared daggers at him, I'd have to pick that up later.

“Yes, Merlin, it seems we are.” He came over to stand in front of me. “And we’re going to continue having it until you admit that you’re wrong. And that I am right.”

“That’s never going to happen! I’M older, get over it.”

“You’re only 20 and I’m 21. How exactly are you older, perhaps the mathematics are escaping me?”

“Some of us don't measure age in such a straight forward manner.”

“Well physically, I’m older than you. That means I have more experience.”

“More experience…” I mumbled as I looked him up and down. He hadn’t put a clean shirt on so his arms were crossed over a bare chest which, I noticed, was rising and falling quickly. Was he actually worked up over our argument? That couldn’t be it, we had this argument all the time. I found myself just staring at his chest as it rose and fell, captivated by the image and what it might mean.

I felt his eyes on me and I looked up quickly. He had been staring at me while I stared at him. That was always awkward, if you knew the person or not. Should I apologize? It’s not like I even knew why I had been doing it. Instead, I looked away quickly.

I heard him let out a shaky sigh and turned back to look at him. “I’m going to do something and you must promise not to overreact.”

“What do you-” but I wasn’t able to say any more because he had taken the few steps needed to close the space between us so that he was now standing only inches in front of me, and before I could react he put his lips on mine.

I pulled away quickly. I was breathing heavily and when I looked down at my hands they were on his waist. I couldn’t remember putting them there. I stared at them. Maybe I hadn’t stepped away but pushed him away. Maybe that’s why my hands were on his waist, keeping such a tight hold on him. I kept staring at them. _Move your hands_ , I thought, but nothing happened. I’m probably in shock and can’t move them. I kept staring at them. Maybe I didn’t _want_ to move them.

“What are you doing?” I wasn’t sure if I was asking him or my hands.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Arthur asked back.

“You kissed me,” I said simply. That is what had just happened, I confirmed to myself. Arthur. Had. Kissed. Me. My head was swimming. What the hell was happening?

“And what are you going to do about it?”

Is what I’m thinking about doing strange? I took a shaky breath. If it were so he wouldn’t have started it.

With my hands on his waist I spun us around and slammed him against the wardrobe; using a bit of magic to do so, which Merlin would never admit even to himself.

He looked mad and upset until my lips found his.

I tried to think through what I was doing while doing it but my thoughts were pretty muddled. They just kept circling around and around- Was it stranger that I was kissing a man or that the man I was kissing was Arthur?

“Hey, I heard a loud bang and-”

The two of us pulled apart from each other rather abruptly and looked over to see Morgana standing in the doorway.

Her mouth hung open in a little ‘o’ for a few seconds before she stepped back out into the hallway and pulled the door closed behind her.

Arthur and I stood there staring at the door, neither of us said anything.

We only stayed like this for a few seconds because then the door opened again.

“Just to clarify,” Morgana said, “you two were making out, correct?”

“Yes,” we both answered, a little breathless, in unison.

“…Okay.” She waved her hand towards us, “Continue.” She stepped back out into the hall and closed the door behind her again.

Silence stretched for a bit as we both stared at the door, before finally Arthur said, “Merlin, I can't move.”

I looked at Arthur and sure enough his body was pinned against the wall, which would have been fine, if anything that had happened between them in the last few minutes was anything to go by, but no part of myself was touching Arthur which meant...

I gasped, which broke off in a bit of a whimpering sob, a sound that I wasn't even aware I was capable of making.

“I always wondered...” Arthur breathed out. “...what this feeling was.”

And to say I was a little confused by Arthur's reaction was an understatement. Was Arthur _really_ not understanding that I was using magic. I mean, I had managed to go this long without him finding out and it wasn't like I was very good at hiding my talents but _come on._ And maybe, just maybe, I hadn't let him free yet, because if Arthur was going to kill me I at least wanted to explain myself first.

“You don't have to explain, you idiot.” Arthur looked at me desperately, like he wanted me to _see_ , see what was right in front of him which...well, what was right in front of him was the one and only Arthur Pendragon having magic used against him by his manservant. Arthur, who was _not_ freaking out or even angry...

“You knew.” I felt like a complete idiot. _Of course_ Arthur knew. Of course I hadn't actually managed to keep it a secret.

“Of course I knew.”

“How long?”

“How long have I known or how long have I suspected?”

“And you're okay with this? It doesn't bother you that I have magic? That I use it? That I didn't tell you about it directly?”

“I can understand why you didn't tell me. And... I have no proof that you've ever used magic for evil ends. As fair as I can tell, you only use it to save my life... and get yourself into, and on rare occasions out of, trouble.”

“You're right that I've never used it for evil, but despite my intentions I have made mistakes Arthur. I've done some terrible things with my magic that I thought was right, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I did it.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, you idiot. Now can you kindly free me? You have me at my word that I won't harm you or allow any one else to harm you.”

Arthur's body relaxed away from the wall and he sighed as he rubbed his hands together.

“Maybe only do that again if it's for the reason you did it in the first place, yeah?”

We both looked at each other.

“I’ve always liked you more than I disliked magic,” he clarified, then grinned.

I cleared my throat. “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

I shifted my eyes away from him. “That I would kiss you back.”

“I’ve caught you looking at me for weeks. I mean, you're always looking at me but in the last few weeks the heat in it changed somehow. It’s like you didn’t even realize you were doing it.”

Had I really been doing that? I thought back to only a little bit ago when I had been looking at his chest, and he had ‘caught’ me doing it.

“And,” he reached up with his hand and turned my face towards his, “I didn’t _know_ you would kiss me back, I just _hoped_ that you either would or that you wouldn’t mind too much that I tried.”

“You’re right.”

“Always.” He smirked. “What about this time?”

“I didn’t realize I had been looking at you differently.” I sighed. “I don’t- I’ve never-”

“Merlin, you don’t have to explain it to me. Honestly, I didn’t know how this was going to turn out either. And if you think I understand what this is any more than you do you'd be wrong.”

“So you kissed me without even knowing for sure that you wanted to?”

He smirked again. “You know the main disadvantage of doing something without realizing it? You can’t hide that you're doing it because you don’t _know_ that you’re doing it. I, on the other hand, was completely aware of all my looking, and you never caught me once.”

I looked down at his bare chest. “Taking your shirt off was a nice touch.”

“I noticed you seemed to like the view.”

I finally looked him in the eyes. “This is kind of-”

“Strange,” he filled in for me before I could say it myself.

We both looked at each other for a second, not doing or saying anything.

I took a heavy breath. “I don’t seem to mind it.”

I leaned in and started kissing him again.


	2. MIDDLE

I opened my eyes to see Arthur laying in the bed next to me. We had made out for a while last night before we both admitted we were exhausted and went to sleep.

Waking up next to Arthur… it was weird, but kind of nice too.

I just laid there looking at him, trying to figure out what exactly it was I was looking at.

I saw him stir and closed my eyes quickly. I don’t know why I didn’t want him to know that I was awake, but it was an immediate response.

I felt the bed move as he rolled onto his other side so that he was facing me. After about a minute of nothing happening I felt something touch the back of my hand, so light at first that it took me a second to realize that it was the tips of Arthur's fingers. He just laid there lightly stroking the back of my hand for nearly five minutes before he finally sighed, as if satisfied, then got out of bed. I could hear the sounds of him walking across the floor and the door as it opened and then closed, it was only then that I opened my eyes. I looked down at my hand. It _looked_ normal, I couldn’t say that it _felt_ normal.

I considered this new part of my life for a time, then I made my way to the kitchens, like I did every morning.


	3. END

_ Morgana's POV: _

I looked over to see Merlin come into the kitchen. I quickly looked over to Arthur then back to Merlin. Let the show begin.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Merlin looked upset as he looked over at Arthur, then surprised when he realized he was talking to him.

Merlin made his way over to stand next to Arthur. It was like I was watching an epic play. What would happen next?! I watched them both closely.

Merlin was staring down at the floor, avoiding looking at Arthur I suspected, for a few seconds before he raised his hands and rested them on top of the counter, just as Arthur had. His eyes skimmed over to his right to see where Arthur's hands rested. Slowly, almost unsurely, he slid his right hand over and trailed his fingertips over the back of Arthur's hand. Merlin looked up at Arthur then, who was smiling. Somehow, I thought, this meant more than I was understanding. Say something before they start making out.

“So-” I said, then stopped because I hadn’t actually _thought_ of anything to say.

They both looked over at me.

“Nice weather we’re having.” I took a sip of my drink while I looked away from them.

Arthur chuckled softly. “It’s raining.”

“Uh…” I said dumbly. “I like the rain.” Very smooth, great cover up.

“You hate the rain.” Damn Merlin and the fact that he knew everything about me. “But we both know that.”

I burst, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Seriously?!” I threw my hand over my mouth, trying to calm myself down before continuing.

They both raised their eyebrows at my little outburst.

I took a deep, calming breath then lowered my hand. “I am not going to stand here and pretend like this isn’t happening.”

“Fine,” Merlin said. “What do you want to know?”

I thought through all my questions, trying to organize them in some way. “First time, or has this been going on for awhile?”

“First time,” they both answered.

I put my elbow up on the counter and rested my chin on my fist.

“Who made the first move?” I asked with a smirk.

Merlin exclaimed, “Morgana!” the same time Arthur answered, “I did.” I wasn’t really surprised, but I loved making Merlin squirm. I somehow kept myself from laughing at his expression.

“The noise I heard?” I went on.

“Him slamming me against the wardrobe,” Arthur answered, motioning towards Merlin. “Took an unexpected turn after that.”

I raised an eyebrow in Merlin's direction. His face flushed as red as the scarf he was wearing as he looked away.

“I can’t help but be… surprised.” I pointed at Arthur, “You flirted with me _all_ the time.”

This got Merlin's attention. I could tell from his expression that he had been wondering the same thing.

“I flirted with _both_ of you _all_ the time, he just never seemed to notice.”

“You flirted with me? When?”

“Remember the one time we came back from that quest and I had to ‘take a bath’?” he air quoted with his fingers.

Merlin looked confused. “You _did_ take a bath.”

“You didn’t think it was strange that I just started undressing in the middle of the room?”

Merlin shrugged his shoulders.

Arthur leaned in towards him a little bit. “You looked. I saw you.”

Merlin's face flushed again.

“Okay! And that marks the end of the Q and A.”

“You left after that,” Arthur went on anyway. “I was kind of disappointed. I thought you finally might make your move. I mean, I was naked and everything, you didn’t even have to try that hard.”

“Should I leave?” They both kept looking at each other. “I think I’m going to leave.” I turned to walk out of the kitchen but not fast enough because I still heard Merlin when he said, “Maybe you should try doing that again and see what happens.” Great, now I was picturing them having sex in the bath. What a great way to start the day. I hurried out of earshot before I could hear anything else.


End file.
